Squid Starts a Revolution

A collective theatre series written in the frame of In The Works2020

Facilitated by ASSITEJ South Africa

T

he purpose of this shared playwriting experience was to connect all In the Works 2020 playwrights together along with their dramaturges-mentors, by developing collectively a unique fiction world to be read publicly online during MASIDLALE- Drama For Life Conference 2020 and, later on, staged for young audiences. Taking turns, each playwright has addd his/her episode to the common script, in a linear way, as in a TV series, keeping their genuine way of playwriting, taking advantage of the element of surprise. There are now 17 episodes making up a brand new international theatre series. And thank you Faye Kabali-Kagwa for facilitating the whole process on behalf of ASSITEJ South Africa!

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Meet the mentors and playwrights

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Brought to you by

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Characters

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Episode 1: The day when…

ADELE: It all starts the day when it’s washed up ashore.

DARLING: A Sunday.

ADELE: Sunday, June the 7th!

She trumpets.

DARLING: Early in the morning.

SQUID: No no no it all begins way before, when…

ADELE: Please, let us tell them.

SQUID: No but… okay.

A far dog barks.

SQUID: Don’t forget dazzling dawn on the wide beach, my whole body drinking its blinding sun light…

ADELE: We won’t.

SQUID: … and later, half naked human kids crouching around me to pat my slick wet skin,…

DARLING: Done.

SQUID: … and sooner, the spirits watching me climbing trees and iron fences, scaring dogs off with my bad breath, fighting…

ADELE, barging in, loud: It all starts the day when a YOUNG GIANT SQUID is washed up onto Golden Mile Beach.

DARLING: Alive!

She trumpets. Dog barks again.

ADELE: We don’t live there, no. It’s my brother, he finds it on his cellphone, you know, over his morning coffee…

DARLING, playing Brother: What the…! Here? No way!

ADELE: What? What?

DARLING, playing Brother: Tssk, buzz off, dwarf…

ADELE: No, let me see! The video shows a giant sea creature lying on a large flat beach, for real. Tossed by the first waves, its pale conical body looks like the fallen hat of a magician while its long arms…

DARLING: 8!

ADELE: …and tentacles…

DARLING: 2!

ADELE: … are twitching, spread out on the sand like a drawn star. Bare feet are swishing all around the stranded creature, which follows them with its big dark eyes…

DARLING: …the biggest peepers in all animal kingdom!

ADELE: We don’t know then, Darling. We don’t know nothing yet about behemoths, dark depths life, magic under-bridges, living buildings, schools of sky fish…

DARLING: Hey, hey, too fast, Ade. Back from the start?

ADELE: Right.

SQUID: A.k.a. me!

ADELE: Yes. No. A.k.a. Sunday 7th of June, when YOU come ashore and WE meet, Darling and I, around the corner, like every morning…

ADELE and DARLING: … since we’re born!

Adele and Darling check. Dogs bark closer.

ADELE: Darling wants to show me a thing so we rush back into her house, she goes searching her stash and all of a sudden, the floor shakes us:

ADELE and DARLING, losing their balance: HEYYYY!

ADELE: Twice.

ADELE and DARLING, same effect: WOOOW!

It continues.

ADELE: A landslide?

DARLING: An earthquake?

ADELE: Houses, poles, people, everything outside seems quite shrunken.

DARLING: And down under.

ADELE: Swaying again and again, Darling’s house is throwing us from one corrugated tin wall to another, heyyyy!

DARLING: Grab my hand, Adele!

ADELE: Watch your head!

DARLING: Crawling, yomping, panting, we both manage to reach the door.

ADELE: 3 meters above the street!

DARLING: We lean overboard to see why…

ADELE and DARLING: WHAAAAT?

DARLING: 4 large legs have grown under my house…

ADELE: Like grey trunks with root fingers…

DARLING: Like giant wooden palmed legs…

ADELE: Like wild bark paws with suckers…

DARLING:…and they’re walking us away!

Dogs howl with fear.

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Episode 2: Consequences for Squid

ADELE: So we hold on to dear life as this four legged monster chases us through the street… DARLING: Then on to the beach where –

SQUID: Where you meet me – Squid.

ADELE: I must say, I nearly died of a panic attack because of fear.

DARLING, to the audience : What do you do when a four legged monster chases you all the way to the beach where you encounter another monster –

SQUID: Monster? Excuse me did you call me a monster?

DARLING: Ahh sorry, I did not mean to call you that –

SQUID: I am not a monster – I am a sea creature!

ADELE: A rather big and unusual one we must admit Squid.

SQUID: Well if I am that unusual than why am I here with you, why are we now friends?

ADELE: We are friends because you saved our lives of course!

SQUID: No I didn’t!

ADELE: Yes you did!

SQUID: No I didn’t!

DARLING: Yes you did!

SQUID: No I didn’t!

ADELE & DARLING: Yes you did!

SQUID: But how? I didn’t do anything? I just laid there on the sand…

A huge truck drives and parks near Adele, Darling and Squid… Out of the truck walks out DOCTOR MOLEFE, a burly, wide shouldered man who has papers with him… He takes a big look at Squid…

DR MOLEFE: Good afternoon.

ADELE: Good day Sir.

DARLING: Afternoon Sir, is there a problem?

DR MOLEFE: Yep and I’m looking at it.

ADELE: What do you mean?

DR MOLEFE: We received a report that a giant squid was washed on the sea shore and never could return again back into the sea.

DARLING, confused: Okay…

DR MOLEFE: Well I am Dr Molefe – a sea creatures expert from the Oceania lab of sea animals, and have been given strict orders to start the preparation for this Squid here to return back to the sea –

SQUID: WHAT!?

DR MOLEFE: That’s right you giant Squid – it’ll soon be time for you to return back home. SQUID: But I love it here… a lot.

DR MOLEFE: It doesn’t matter – you don’t belong here, you’re a squid not a human being! ADELE: Hold on, hold on Dr Molefe! Surely a plan can be made, this Squid has become our close friend.

DR MOLEFE: No plan can be made sadly – A squid belongs deep in the ocean and we are going to ensure that that happens… well that’s it for today… next time you see me I will be doing my job – restoring this squid to it’s natural habitat.

At that, Dr Molefe goes back into his truck and leaves as Adele, Darling and Squid look on with sadness.

DARLING: We have to do something about this, we have to! If Squid wants to stay then we have to make sure he stays!

ADELE: What do you suggest we do Darling?

SQUID: Yeah smarty pants, how are you going to out think a whole doctor huh?

DARLING: I’ve got just the perfect plan…

Previously: Dr. Molefe threatens to take Squid back to sea after Adele and Darling find him washed up onto Golden Mile Beach.

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Episode 3: Out of Sight

ADELE: So we hold on to dear life as this four legged monster chases us through the street… DARLING: Then on to the beach where –

SQUID: Where you meet me – Squid.

ADELE: I must say, I nearly died of a panic attack because of fear.

DARLING, to the audience : What do you do when a four legged monster chases you all the way to the beach where you encounter another monster –

SQUID: Monster? Excuse me did you call me a monster?

DARLING: Ahh sorry, I did not mean to call you that –

SQUID: I am not a monster – I am a sea creature!

ADELE: A rather big and unusual one we must admit Squid.

SQUID: Well if I am that unusual than why am I here with you, why are we now friends?

ADELE: We are friends because you saved our lives of course!

SQUID: No I didn’t!

ADELE: Yes you did!

SQUID: No I didn’t!

DARLING: Yes you did!

SQUID: No I didn’t!

ADELE & DARLING: Yes you did!

SQUID: But how? I didn’t do anything? I just laid there on the sand…

A huge truck drives and parks near Adele, Darling and Squid… Out of the truck walks out DOCTOR MOLEFE, a burly, wide shouldered man who has papers with him… He takes a big look at Squid…

DR MOLEFE: Good afternoon.

ADELE: Good day Sir.

DARLING: Afternoon Sir, is there a problem?

DR MOLEFE: Yep and I’m looking at it.

ADELE: What do you mean?

DR MOLEFE: We received a report that a giant squid was washed on the sea shore and never could return again back into the sea.

DARLING, confused: Okay…

DR MOLEFE: Well I am Dr Molefe – a sea creatures expert from the Oceania lab of sea animals, and have been given strict orders to start the preparation for this Squid here to return back to the sea –

SQUID: WHAT!?

DR MOLEFE: That’s right you giant Squid – it’ll soon be time for you to return back home. SQUID: But I love it here… a lot.

DR MOLEFE: It doesn’t matter – you don’t belong here, you’re a squid not a human being! ADELE: Hold on, hold on Dr Molefe! Surely a plan can be made, this Squid has become our close friend.

DR MOLEFE: No plan can be made sadly – A squid belongs deep in the ocean and we are going to ensure that that happens… well that’s it for today… next time you see me I will be doing my job – restoring this squid to it’s natural habitat.

At that, Dr Molefe goes back into his truck and leaves as Adele, Darling and Squid look on with sadness.

DARLING: We have to do something about this, we have to! If Squid wants to stay then we have to make sure he stays!

ADELE: What do you suggest we do Darling?

SQUID: Yeah smarty pants, how are you going to out think a whole doctor huh?

DARLING: I’ve got just the perfect plan…

Previously: Dr. Molefe threatens to take Squid back to sea after Adele and Darling find him washed up onto Golden Mile Beach.

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Episode 3: Out of Sight

Darling starts drawing images on the sand.

ADELE: What are you drawing Darling? What’s your plan? Tell us!

DARLING: Patience, patience! My Gramps always says that good things come to those who wait. I’m drawing up a plan…

ADELE: The suspense is killing me!

DARLING: Ok, got it! You with the 4 large legs…

Turns to face the House Tree Monster.

ADELE: Like grey trunks with root fingers…

DARLING: Like giant wooden palmed legs…

ADELE: Like wild bark paws with suckers…

DARLING: Can you help us save Squid? A good deed in return for nearly destroying Adele’s house?

MONSTER: Arghrarara. Ok!

DARLING: Fantastic! Please put Squid on your back and help us carry him home.

MONSTER: Arghrarara. Ok!
SQUID: Careful, I’m very slippery!

Dog barks.

ADELE: And wet! Don’t worry Squid, I’ve got a firm hold of you. Let’s go!

SQUID: Stop skipping! I’m going to fall off!

DARLING: Here we are! Monster, please put him down right here, next to my Grandad’s old car.

ADELE: But Darling, everyone who walks past your house can see him here. Dr Molefe will find us in no time!

DARLING: That’s why we have to hide him! Monster, can you do that thing you did earlier at Adele’s and lift up the house? Yes! Yes! Just like that! Quick Adele, help me push Squid under the house.

SQUID: Oo, oo, that tickles. Careful!

ADELE: Perfect! Splendid! One last push! Eeeee!

SQUID: Err, sorry to burst your bubble, but my tentacles are sticking out.

DARLING: Oh dear.

ADELE: Don’t worry, we’ll fix it. Look, there’s your Gramps barbeque set in the garage. We can use these spoons and knives and tongues to dig several holes and bury Squid’s tentacles so no one will see them!

SQUID: Dig holes! With spoons and knives? By the time you’re done, I will be a dried-up fossil!

DARLING: Ah, you say that because you don’t know my Gramps! Every year when we celebrate the harvest, he wins the carving prize! He can carve a roasted goat in under one minute! My mother says he uses the same utensils that his father used, and that has his

grandfather used before that. And that they are magical! Just sing with us and you’ll see what happens!

Song:
Dig digdig
Scratch, scratch scratch Cut, cut, cut
And dig and scratch and cut And dig and scratch and cut

DARLING: Nearly there! Don’t stop digging Adele.

SQUID: Argh! Watch my tentacle. It is connected to my body you know! DARLING: Oops, sorry!

ADELE: And shhh, don’t be so loud. Someone will hear you!
TOMI: Hey! What are you girls doing?

Dogs grrs in anger.

DARLING: Too late!

ADELE: Nothing!

DARLING: Mind your own business Tomi. And get down from that tree!

ADELE: Why are you always snooping around? Don’t you have anything better to do? TOMI: What are neighbours for, if not to look out for one another?

SQUID: Hmf.

TOMI: I know what you’re trying to do. Everyone has seen it in the news. The expert from the Oceania lab of sea animals told everyone not to worry, that soon, this monster would be back in the sea.

SQUID: Hey, I’m not a monster. I’m a sea creature.

TOMI: Who cares? I’m going to tell Dr Molefe that you are under this house. Unless…

ADELE/DARLING: Unless what?

Previously: the girls try and hide the squid, with the help of the house-lifting tree, but Tomi sees them and threatens to tell their secret.

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Episode 4: No longer a few kids and a squid.

Doctor Molefe is shaving at home in front of the mirror.

PROFESSOR MOLEFE: Hurry up, darling.

DOCTOR MOLEFE: I’ll be as soon as I can.

PROFESSOR MOLEFE: They’re waiting.

DOCTOR MOLEFE: Tell them I’m coming.

PROFESSOR MOLEFE: There’s dozens of them out here.

DOCTOR MOLEFE: They’ll just have to wait!

PROFESSOR MOLEFE: This could be your big moment. D

DOCTOR MOLEFE: I’m going as fast as I can.

PROFESSOR MOLEFE: All that cheating in your school exams and bribing your way through university to get your degree and then marrying me so my dad would give you a job at the sea world centre it’s all leading to this moment – so don’t mess up eh.

DOCTOR MOLEFE: I’m coming!

He cuts himself.

DOCTOR MOLEFE: Ow.. now look what you’ve made me do!

PROFESSOR MOLEFE: Come on, honey, there’s cameras and microphones and there’s a helicopter overhead. It’s your big moment; it’s like you’re superman and it’s time to save the world, this is the time to pull your tights over your underpants – and I want them off my lawn!

Mr Doctor Molefe comes out the bathroom down the stairs and out the front door. He has bits of paper stuck on his face to stem the blood.

DOCTOR MOLEFE, addressing the press, not calm : Hello. I’ll make a statement and then take questions.

The world press takes photos.

REPORTER: How bad is it doctor?

DOCTOR MOLEFE: Very bad. The squid – that was the first. And now there’s more.

REPORTER: We know! They’re all over!

DOCTOR MOLEFE: The fish and the dolphins and the whales they’re all coming ashore.

REPORTER: Butthat’s–

DOCTOR MOLEFE: Yeah I know. They can breathe air. I don’t know how. Only there are platoons of Sea Horses on the beach and starfish all over the skyscrapers and … and this morning a boy named Tomi… excuse me I think I’m gonna be sick.

He runs off.

REPORTER: Doctor! Doctor Molefe!

Enter Professor Molefe.

PROFESSOR MOLEFE, calm: Hello, I’m Professor Molefe. Doctor Molefe is my husband I’m afraid; he doesn’t like a fuss, he doesn’t like change – last week he was doing the ironing and burned a hole in his white shirt so the next day had to wear a blue one, he was sick that day too. I think he is going to be sick every day from now on until he sicks himself to death. It’s like this.

The seas are dead, or they’re dying anyway, we all know this, but no-one cares except some girl with pigtails from Sweden, but the politicians don’t listen to her, they just want to take selfies with her and then do nothing. Anyway, the sea is full of all that stuff we throw away and the beings that live there don’t want it any more so they’re now here. On land. The squid was first, just checking us out, a sort of scout, and it found that the kids were gonna help it and the adults of the species – us – wanted to send them back, well my stupid husband did, and the squid obviously thought that all adults must be the same – ignorant, wanting things to go their own way. Anyway we, the grown-ups, we are the ones that have messed up. And we are the ones that are gonnahave to pay the price.

So the kids might be OK, except all their parents and grandparents are going to be fish food, but if you are over eighteen, if you have a job, if you have a beard, if you drive a car, if you chuck your plastic away without recycling it, then you’re in trouble. The trees are moving too, I’ve seen them, we’ve all seen them. A forest has grown over the army base, the navy has been sucked to the bottom of the sea by a million reaching arms of seaweed.

Gone quiet haven’t you. Tomi told me there’s a sort of parliament – a tree, a squid, two kids… and if we want to save ourselves or the planet, we better go and beg. Yeah beg for our lives.

There is a terrible scream from inside the house.

PROFESSOR MOLEFE: Wait there.

She goes in, she comes back.

PROFESSOR MOLEFE: It’s started.

She puts on a pair of knee pads.

PROFESSOR MOLEFE: It’s time to start begging.

Previously: Dr. Molefe’s wife tells the news that sea creatures want to live on land because the oceans have been destroyed and are dying. She urges the people to start begging for their lives.

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Episode 5: Parliament meeting of new caucus

ADELE, standing at a makeshift podium: Good morning and welcome all to our first official meeting.

DARLING, SQUID and MONSTER, simultaneously:

MONSTER: Hi.

SQUID: Hello!

DARLING: Morning!

ADELE: There are a few things that we need to discuss and decide. First is the matter of our group name. As the core representatives of the movement, it is our duty to speak for those that we are fighting for. I will now open to the floor for group name suggestions.

DARLING, quickly shooting up her hand in the air: Oh! I know, I know! Pick me!

ADELE: Yes Darling.

DARLING: I think we should call ourselves “Pacific Plastic Project Protectors”.

ADELE: Wow, that’s an awesome suggestion, Darling. Do we have any other suggestions? Squid, you look like you have an idea.

SQUID: Um… Well maybe we could use one of those crisscross signal things that I keep seeing everywhere?

ADELE? What? The crisscross signal?

SQUID: You know, crisscross-Black-Lives-Matter, crisscross-trending, crisscross-Donald- Trump-sanitizer, crisscross-I-heart-cat-memes.

DARLING, laughing: He means hashtag!

ADELE, laughing too: Oh! Yes! We should definitely use a hashtag. That will really help the movement gain some following. What about you Mr. Tree, what do you think?

MONSTER: Mr. Tree? You must be talking about my father. You can call me Oak.

ADELE: Okay Oak, what do you think we should name the movement?

MONSTER: I think Darling’s idea is great but it’s too long. We need to make it short and punchy.

SQUID: Yeah! (punching with his tentacles) Punchy!

DARLING: What about “Triple P Protectors”?

SQUID: Hashtag Triple P Protectors!

ADELE: Hey, that’s got a ring to it.

MONSTER: I like it.

ADELE: Well that settles it. Welcome to the first official #TripleP-Protectors first meeting.

Everyone cheers. SQUID makes a loud moaning, calling sound. His skin starts to flash and change colour. DARLING and ADELE huddle close to tree, frightened by the sound.

DARLING, whispering to ADELE: What was that?

ADELE: I don’t know. Maybe we should ask him.

SQUID continues to moan loudly.

DARLING: I’m too scared. You ask.

MONSTER: I think Adele should ask.

ADELE: Why should I ask?

DARLING: ‘Cause um… (DARLING has an idea and quickly shouts) Nikki-not-it! MONSTER: Nikki-not-it!

ADELE, disappointed: Awww man… Okay fine, I’ll ask him. SQUID still moaning.

ADELE, hesitantly: Excuse me Squid… (slowly moving toward SQUID who is still moaning) Are you okay?

SQUID does not hear ADELE.

ADELE, clearing her throat and speaking a little louder this time: Excuse me Squid, are you okay?

SQUID still does not hear. He is still moaning.

ADELE, slowing building more and more courage, speaking loud enough for SQUID to

hear: EXCUSE ME SQUID! ARE YOU OKAY?!

SQUID has a fright and turns to ADELE.

SQUID: Why are you yelling Adele?

ADELE: You started it. Your skin was flashing and changing colour and you were making this crazy sound. What was that?

SQUID: Oh… my bad.

DARLING, coming closer: Are you okay Squid?

SQUID: Yes, but when my skin flashes like that, it’s because all my squid friends and family are trying to communicate with me.

EVERYONE: Ohh…

MONSTER: What were they saying?

SQUID: They’re saying that they are going to join us…

DARLING: What?

SQUID: … And they’re not alone. There’s a whole bunch of sea creatures coming onto the land to fight against the terrible things that keep throwing their rubbish into the ocean.

ADELE, amazed: Oh my…

MONSTER: How many sea creatures?

SQUID: Hang on…

SQUID starts to moan, and his skin starts to flash and change colours. Everyone stands and watches him in awe.

SQUID stops moaning and looks over at the others: You guys are never going to believe this.

EVERYONE: What?

SQUID: All the sea creatures are coming.

DARLING: What do you mean all of them?

SQUID: I mean all of them, and they are angry.

ADELE: I would be too if my home was being trashed all the time.

MONSTER: I’ve been angry for so long!

SQUID: Why are you angry?

MONSTER: I am one of the only Oaks from my family left on this street. The same people that are trashing your home Squid, killed my family, so that they could build houses and streets and towns.

DARLING: Oh no! I’m so sorry Oak, that’s terrible.

DARLING hugs MONSTER.

SQUID: I think it’s time that these people are taught a lesson!

ADELE and DARLING: Yeah!

SQUID starts to call out, moaning loudly. His body starts to flash and change colour again.

SQUID: I’ve told all the sea creatures to meet us in the town square.

ADELE: Pacific Plastic Project Protectors to the rescue!

EVERYONE: #TripleP-protectors!

Previously: The girls, Squid and tree come together to create the movement #TripleP- protectors, whose mission is to help all the other sea creatures (that have come onto the land) to teach the people a lesson.

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Episode 6: Something’s fishy at the town square

The Town Square. Various storefronts, each with a sign in the window such as: “We Love Sea Creatures!” and “Dolphins Welcome!” TOMI enters.

TOMI: Come on! HURRY!!

PROFESSOR MOLEFE enters wearing knee pads, carrying DOCTOR MOLEFE and a duffel bag on her back.

PROFESSOR MOLEFE: Why did I wear these heels?!

She drops DOCTOR MOLEFE and the bag on the ground.

DOCTOR MOLEFE, pinching TOMI’s cheek: Good job, young fellow! You helped us shake those annoying reporters off our tails. They’ll never find us here! (Opens the duffel bag and pulls out several items, including a megaphone.) Now, let’s get to business. The way I see it, the first thing we should do is—

PROFESSOR MOLEFE, kneeling: – start begging! (Closing her eyes, clasping her hands together.) PLEASE SEA CREATURES DON’T HURT US WE’RE SORRY WE DIDN’T MEAN TO THROW (clears throat) TRASH IN YOUR BEAUTIFUL HOME (voice cracks) WELL SOME PEOPLE DID (clears throat) BUT NOT ME—

DOCTOR MOLEFE, holding the megaphone over her mouth: Use this.

TOMI, sees something in the distance: Professor…

PROFESSOR MOLEFE, eyes still closed, through megaphone: —PLEASE ONLY HURT THE BAD PEOPLE—
DOCTOR MOLEFE, sees what TOMI sees: Oh, no…
P

ROFESSOR MOLEFE: —BUT NOT MY STUPID HUSBAND WHO TRIED TO SAVE YOU BUT THEY WOULDN’T LISTEN AND NOW IT’S TOO—

TOMI: PROFESSOR!

PROFESSOR MOLEFE, opens her eyes: WHAT?!!

TOMI: They’re here.

Majestic SEA CREATURES appear from all around.

DOCTOR MOLEFE, brings megaphone to his mouth: Help!! (Waving toward storefronts.)

Call the authorities! The sea creatures have come to the TOWN SQUARE!

Sounds of doors slamming, footsteps running, car tires squealing.

DOCTOR MOLEFE: We’re DOOMED!!

He drops the megaphone and cowers behind his wife.

PROFESSOR MOLEFE, slowly backing away: We didn’t…It wasn’t our…

DOCTOR MOLEFE: …and to piggyback on that idea, I would add…

He jumps on her back and she runs off.

TOMI: Wait, where are you go—?! ARGHH!!

He turns to the SEA CREATURES and picks up the megaphone.

TOMI: Good afternoon, fine citizens of the Sea. Beautiful day we’re having, am I right? (No response.)Ahuhhuh…yeah. (Puts megaphone down.) Listen, you should be upset. We humans have never done right by you – wait, except maybe Jacques Cousteau, Sylvia Earle…oh, and of course Ashanti Johnson, but the rest of us?! (Scoffs.) I mean, we were doing okay at the beginning, I guess? Just kinda like, leaving you to your space, painting pictures and writing stories about you or whatever? But somehow, I think we forgot how important–

He starts gasping and making “fish lips.”

TOMI: What I’m trying to say is– BLOOP BLOOP!

He grows fins and a tail.

TOMI: Wait, this is all a misunderstanding! My BLOOP friends are on their way here right now to BLOOP and we’ll sort this all out BLOOP BLOOP BLOOP—

He is a fully aquatic being. The SEA CREATURES begin closing in.

Previously: Tomi and the Molefes arrive at the Town Square and are confronted by the Sea Creatures, who turn Tomi into a fish!

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Episode 7: TripleP Plan

Enter SQUID, DARLING and ADELE.

DARLING: What’s going on?

ADELE: Why isn’t that fish in the water?

SQUID: It looks like a strange fish to me….

DOCTOR MOLEFE: That’s because it’s not a fish! It’s a little boy! Or it was…Poor Tomi….

ADELE & DARLING: Tomi?!

PROFESSOR MOLEFE: Oh please don’t turn me into a fish! I beg of you! unless perhaps you could turn me into a mermaid…that might be cool….

A sea creature approaches her.

PROFESSOR MOLEFE: No! I changed my mind! SQUID: Mum? Dad?

MOTHER SQUID: Sam! We were so worried about you! FATHER SQUID: We thought you were lost forever!

SQUID: I’m fine. I’ve just had the craziest day.

MOTHER SQUID: We came straight away when we got your message.

PROFESSOR MOLEFE, aside: The squids can talk?!

SQUID I’m sorry. I was just getting so sick of living in the sea. It’s so dirty and full of plastic these days. I thought I could come out here- to land- to see if there was somewhere nicer for us to live.

MOTHER SQUID, looking around at the humans: Are these the people who have been ruining our home?

All of the humans retreat in fear.

SQUID: Well, yes, except these two (pointing to ADELE and DARLING). They’ve been trying to help us! We set up the #TripleP-Protectors Movement together!

DARLING: We promise we’re just trying to help!

ADELE: Promise!

MOTHER SQUID: Well if these humans haven’t been destroying our home, who has?

PROFESSOR MOLEFE and DOCTOR MOLEFE cower.

MOTHER SQUID and FATHER SQUID, turning to the Molefes: YOU!

PROFESSOR MOLEFE: Please don’t hurt us!

DOCTOR MOLEFE: We’ve been trying to warn people! But the humans just won’t listen. I’m an Oceanic expert, all I want is to study and protect your kind!

FATHER SQUID: Well, you haven’t been doing a very good job of it so far. Look at how angry all these sea creatures are.

He gestures to the other sea creatures who look ready to attack.

DOCTOR MOLEFE: I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to do anymore. There’s so much plastic everywhere. I don’t know how to persuade humans to stop throwing their rubbish in the sea.

DARLING: That’s ok, because we have a plan. Don’t we?

ADELE: Yes we do! We’re going to teach you all a lesson. TripleP-Protectors huddle up!

SQUID, ADELE and DARLING huddle up at the front of the stage.

ADELE: Do you think we can do it?

DARLING: I think so.

SQUID: We have to! It’s our only choice. We have to teach these humans a lesson, otherwise me, the sea creatures, and even trees like Oak- in fact all of nature, will be in danger! I love being on land with you two but I can’t be on land forever. I need water. I am a sea creature after all. And I’m running out of time.

ADELE: I wish you could stay here forever….

DARLING: Me too…

SQUID: I’ll come back to visit, I promise.

ADELE: We’d better get a move on. Right. We need to gather up all of the rubbish that we can! Look in all of the bins that you find in the town square and gather up the nastiest stuff you can find: rotten eggs, slime, mouldy bread, banana skins. Then, you must sneak into people’s houses and throw it all over their beds! Then they’ll understand!

DARLING: Yes! (Beat.) Wait- understand what?

ADELE: What it’s like for the sea creatures to live in a sea full of rubbish! The sea is the home of these creatures and right now it’s full of rubbish…so we have to show the humans….

DARLING: …what it’s like to live in a sea of rubbish! It’s….GENIUS!

SQUID: It will definitely work! Once they know what it’s like to live in a dirty, slimy, suffocating, smelly place then they’ll know how we feel living with all the rubbish the humans dump into the sea everyday! It’s a brilliant plan!

DARLING: TripleP-Protectors on 3! 3…2….

SQUID, DARLING and ADELE: TRIPLE-P PROTECTORS UNITE!

DARLING: There’s just one small problem…what are we going to do about Tomi?!

Previously: Adele, Darling and Squid arrive at the town square with a plan, they’re going to teach the humans a lesson by covering their homes with rubbish so they know what it’s like for the sea creatures living in a polluted sea.

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Episode 8: On second thought!

Adele, Darling, Squid, Tomi (the fish) and Monster are walking. Doctor Molefe and Professor Molefe are tied to Oak by seaweed and are walking slowly behind Monster.

ADELE: Are you sure you know where this place is, Oak? MONSTER: Of course I do.

SQUID: Just follow your nose.

TOMI: I can’t smell anything.

SQUID: What kind of fish are you? TOMI: I have no idea.

MONSTER: Here we are, friends. DARLING: Wow.

ADELE: This is gross.

DARLING: Hey, this bike isn’t in bad shape at all. SQUID: Look at all this stuff, just wasted.

ADELE: I can’t wait to teach them a lesson. Let’s go.

They all begin to go through the trash, finding treasures and also smelly junk. Dog barks. The sun shifts; they have been working for some time.

SQUID: How long are we going to work? All ten of my arms are exhausted.

A dog barks. SQUID begins to glow and shake.

DARLING: There he goes again.

SQUID: My Mom and Dad are on their way. They say they have a surprise.

DARLING: I hope it’s icecream. I’m hungry.

ADELE: Squid don’t eat icecream.

DARLING: How Am I supposed to know that?

ADELE: Just forget it. We gotta get this trash into homes ASAP. #Triple P Protectors, let’s go!

MotherSquid and FatherSquid enter, followed by Greta Thunberg and Xiuhtezcatl Martinez. The others all look.

DARLING: Ummm, Adele, umm…who are those people?

ADELE: I am pretty sure that’s Greta Thunberg.

MONSTER: Here? I thought Tomi turning into a fish was amazing… TOMI: Greta Thunberg? Here?

ADELE: They came to help us? You came to help us?

SQUID: Great! I am tired! Mom, Dad, did you tell them our plan?

GRETA: They did. And that’s why we are here.

SQUID: Wow, thank…

XIUHTEZCATL: It’s not a good plan.

ADELE: It’s an excellent plan! Who are you anyway?

GRETA: My friend, XIUHTEZCATL. Look, we have to look at the long haul… XIUHTEZCATL :The big picture…

GRETA: The super objective….

ADELE: This is the super objective! To teach them a lesson!

GRETA: Teach them a lesson? Throw trash in their homes? Does that make any less trash in the ocean?

XIUHTEZCATL: My ancestors have taught me many things. And they keep teaching me. One thing is that we are never going to get anywhere until we all work together. If we just hurt those who hurt us, everyone is hurting.

MONSTER: I think Xiuhtezcatl is kind of right.

ADELE: Kind of right?

DARLING: Well, what do we do now? We are all ready with all this trash.

GRETA: We teach.

SQUID: I am no teacher.

MONSTER: Me neither. But I can try.
ADELE: No, Darling. We have a goal. Come on #Triple P Protectors! Are you all with me?

Silence. A dog barks.

ADELE: Squid? Are you with me?

SQUID: Sorry, Adele, I think they are right. We have to solve this by communicating, coming together.

ADELE: Darling?

MONSTER, referring to the Dr and professor: What do we do with these two?

MOTHER SQUID: Let them go.

PROFESSOR: Oh, thank you. Thank you.

ADELE: REALLY?! They are the enemy. Well, you all do what you want. I am going to take care of this myself then.

She walks away. The others all turn to walk the other way. As they leave, Adele sees a large bulldozer and climbs up onto it.

To be continued…

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